I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this with people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! - Anonymous.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Among other things.

She is my very good friend. I have once crashed her car. We spent a day getting it repaired. Without insurance. She was supposed to be grounded.

She has finally arrived after the 5 minutes of half-hour.
She is passing the gates. Stops. Yells at some school boys. Walks briskly.

Me: Why did you just scream bloody murder on those innocent kids?
She (angrily): That freak had the guts to pass a comment. 'Nice ass'. Ass his face!
Me: Oh. yeah. alright. justified.

She sits. She smirks. She says, "It is nice, right." And there it is... the satisfied smile of the day.

Life as we know it.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Hello, May.

May I pass my disastrous economics paper.
May I pass all my papers.
May I find my lost phone. (on silent. now off. somewhere in the house.)
May you not laugh at my indifference.
May 'I sit on my star and see street lights.'
May my mother let me buy the six grand worth wedges. (Totally worth it.)
May I stop being so superficial.

May we all be Phoebes and Joeys.
May you get hugs. Free hugs. I love hugs.
May all my friends agree that I kick-ass when it comes to bowling.
May tomorrow's lunch be pizzas.
(It's 3:27am) May I get some sleep.
May I not fall asleep writing the literature (yawnn) exam tomorrow. (err. today?)
May (I'm sure) you yawn when I type yawn. zzz

May you believe me that the above was not at all an attempt to write poetry.