I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this with people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! - Anonymous.

Monday, February 28, 2011

The Strange Indian Mentality


Today, driving my small little white box (otherwise known as Maruti800) at the monotonous speed of 40km/hour, the mind also in a sleepy haze; I came upon the notice of things everyone does every time that are as unimportant and uninteresting as the phone I never attend.

We Indians have a knack of breaking the traffic-signal, overtaking from the wrong side, never requiring the amazing invention of the green indicators and so on. While this may not entirely hold true of the big metropolitans with their mostly alert and scary Traffic Police and the sneaky Interceptors, the rest of the country's small cities often face the wrath of two-wheelers and four-wheelers, also three-wheelers with their impaled direction-sense.

Now to the point:

They bought a new car: OoooH, It's a NEW car. It needs to be ridden of the devils it possesses with a special pooja. Also, do not remove the seat plastic covers, the car will get dusty. It doesn't matter just how hot and sticky it is... the plastic Remains.

Traffic Jam: What. The road's blocked. Nobody can steer anywhere and the pace is dead slow. Well, that's okay but I'll HONK. I know that the ten cars ahead of me are just as stuck but I want to honk. When I keep on honking again and again and again, I don't know how it would help...but I just want to Honk.

Scratch: A small accident in the middle of the road. Nobody's hurt. No damage that'll hurt the car/bike's "feelings". BUT I'll get out and fight. It's the peak rush hour. I'll stand in the middle of the traffic and not bother about the ambulance being delayed. I just want to fight for that scratch !

Kings & Queens: They are everywhere. Quite and serene. Walking at a gradual pace, leaving their foot-prints everywhere. They can stand still. Chat in the middle of the road. Or just ponder and procrastinate. And we'll all happily oblige to help in their everlasting comfort. The Cows.

And the scariest and the most petrifying element on the Indian roads breaking all state barriers literally are the one and only Indian. Bus. Drivers. ... *crescendo*

And in all this mayhem and pandemonium somewhere is "I" at a glacial pace, who somehow miraculously manages to reach back home safe and sound. :)

Yet, we love it here.

3 comments:

  1. And that's exactly why I'm scared of having learning to drive.
    :/

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  2. Well...it does train you for the wild though :D

    The plasic covers thing!
    Looks so stupid!
    If you dont want the seats to get dirty and look ugly,you put on covers that make it look worse?

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  3. @Ananya: Once you learn.. There's a different thrill at the zoom-zooming :P

    @Cochise: Right?! .. I've heard people say that as of now the car is new so let the plastic be.. & India is a HOT country.

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