I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this with people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! - Anonymous.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Embrace Awkward.

Unfinished assignments lying everywhere. Tapping my foot on the beat of the song playing on the stereo. It went something like "dil mein baji guitar lah lah lah blah blah blah!" It was yesterday evening and I was clearly bored.

*ding* oooh text message. something to do.

It was a long-time-no-see-school-friend:

School-Friend: Hey. hw r u? been ages. wt's hapnin in life!

Me: heyey.. I know..been long... just college and submissions and the usual .. You say?

School-Friend: K


K? K what? The letter between J and L. Did you know that in JK, K stands for kidding. So is your reply "Kidding"? Or K as in potassium? Do you need some Special K in breakfast? K as in I can K/O you. Can I knock you out and feed you to sharks? Sharks has K in it. :| -- Anonymous.

Very much awkward. The thing is that I've way too many awkward moments. I like to believe everyone does too.
How awkward are B'days. When people are clapping & singing "Happy Birthday" to you and you're sitting like a dumb-fuck wondering what to do with your hands. And the Happy-birthday-to-yous are long, what with the zoo animals and the many boyfriends and dwarfs.

Have you had any of those awkward moments when ...

You start telling a story and realize no one's listening, so you kinda stop and pretend like you never said anything.

You lose your mum in a store and walk around like an idiot trying to find her.

You call your Principal (while talking to a teacher) Mrs. Rakhi Sawant instead of Mrs. Rakhi what-ever's-the-name. [this wasn't me]

You say "what come again", even after the person has repeated themselves 3 times, and then you pretend like you got it.

You wave back and you realize they weren't waving at you.

You say something that you really shouldn't have.

You want to buy something; show excitement, check the price, sadly keep it back ... And avoid the eye of the sales person who was looming over your head.

You make a joke and nobody gets it.

You are told to go Left and you go Right.

And the worst. We can have the drum-rolls for this one... When you're a girl and mistakenly walk into a the guy's washroom and they are taking a pee.

I would have been ready to sell my soul to the Devil... just to disappear and never have existed.

As a matter of fact, the spelling of awkward itself is very awkward. Had there not been a spell-check, this post would have read "Embrace akward"


  1. You left out :

    When your mum's long lost friend comes to visit and your mum moves out of the room for 'work' (read: tea making, important phone call...)and it's just her friend and you in the room.

  2. Saying 'awkward' makes me feel awkward. Always.

  3. Yea. Although, I need to use it quite often so I've kinda started liking the sound of it xD

  4. Ah!
    I could relate to almost every akward moment here!