I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this with people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! - Anonymous.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Confessions of a clueless mind.



Veronica: What a boring two days...
Betty: Wait till I update it in my blog, it's gonna sound way more awesome!

Sunday

My granny has a family astrologer who every once-in-a-while pays every extended family member a "visit-$".
So, there he was chatting with my parents (my mother tapping her foot restlessly), holding some old, long off-white sheets of paper. They were horoscopes :D
It does not make a difference of how big a non-believer I am, it got me excited. Fascinated as I stay with small little things, I told Mum even I want mine "old, long off-white sheet of paper-horoscope" read out.
Mine was a long sheet written in Sanskrit and Hindi, two boxes with a lot of numbers and a weird drawing around it. [Gave-up. It had math.]
Anyhow, he looked at it for a while, stated that it wasn't a complete horoscope and that I should in future get a whole "six pages something" made. Now-a-days, it's made online. (So, the machines had taken over them too)
He told me I'll study A LOT, which was a major disappointment as I hate that part of the mind-boggling life. Damn.
On asking what I might be pursuing as a career (with so much studying :P) he was clueless [wtf?! :|]. He could not see anything. Now in times like these we drop the f-bomb, however, the fact that I'll study wayyy too much and not get anything out of it is well..erm... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaH
HOW does he expect me TO LIVE!
Study = Earnings = Retail Therapy and Shoes = Oxygen

Blah. That was my utterly wasted and disheartening Sunday.


Monday

College
Aim: To attend All the lectures in the day.

Lecture I -- Eco-stats
Numbers and ∑'s jumping & dancing.
"Everyone pay attention, here!" Ooooh, a sparrow by the window sill.


Lecture II -- Advertising 
"I want your assignments."
erm. well. black-out.
"No assignments. No attendance."
*face-palm*

Lecture III -- English Lit.
Something was being said about the influences of Wordsworth and Shakespeare.
Wordsworth lost control of his rocket. He's panicking. He thinks of daffodils and nature. Meanwhile, Shakespeare is riding a meteor. His big belly (beer belly?), making him look like humpty-dumpty.
Hmm, it looked a lot more funnier in my head.


With the strangest subject combination on Planet Earth that only sound cooler when told, but in reality are aimless leading to jobless leading to an Apocalypse.

Hence, the Confessions of a clueless mind, the Astrologer now making it official.
*A long and heavy Sigh*

5 comments:

  1. Lmao,Wordsworth lost control of his rocket =D

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're off Facebook? :O
    I am proud :)

    Love this post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is not easy flying a rocket, you know.

    Off facebook lasts... I miss it.
    okay, I'll try at least a week. or 3 days :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. HAH...amazing...so i know m not the only one and those blackouts of mine aren't a medical condition. And what to say of Shakespeare and Wordsworth? That's all I study.

    I love :)

    ReplyDelete