I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this with people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! - Anonymous.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year!

"I swear, this city has started to reject me like a bad organ transplant." - Robin Scherbatsky.

We are all aware, many experienced of that eerie annoying feeling of things falling apart like we're in a Disaster Movie. That feeling which hits you like a punch on your face, trips you while strolling and makes you realize 'what a crappy year it was'. Probably the crappiest of all.

First, your year kick-starts with being "aquantained" with the maximum jerks you can come across. The ones who only care to get hold of your phone number and have the guts to talk only and only via Facebook chat. [fyi: FB chat does NOT mean we have become very good friends and you can, out of nowhere pop the question of "going out" on Chat!] Seriously, you think we are that brainless. And I'm patting myself on the back for blowing you off then and there on Chat. (Not a single decent guy this year. sad.)

Second, getting stung by a dozen or more honey-bees because of a mis-hap in college by some unknown being. For real. Missing your mandatory test being held on the same day. Yelling at every authoritative figure who came on your way until you reached the principal's office and in that fear and frustration yelling at her too and placing facts how "I" could sue the college for it [even while knowing, it won't happen ever. Who has the time.] Upside: the bee-hives were actually removed from the premises. Downside: she'll never forge my face and turns out it is not a good idea to upset the top heads. *sigh*

Third, flunking [or as I feel purposefully flunked] in the one subject you are best at - Graphic Designing (well, best amongst the duds in the class). Why? We have to go back to the year 2009 October.
(practical class and told to make a power-point presentation. yes seriously. that easy stuff)
the girl sitting next to me asking the teacher (bitch!): Ma'am, there is an error. What do I do?
The teach-bitch: Hmm, isko. ek second. mein abhi aati hoon. kuch char-khani mat karna.
I look at the girl's screen (I shouldn't have): Dude, just press ctrl-alt-del. Do over. Must be some virus problem.
(5mins later) bitch-teach comes, looks at the monitor: yeh theek kaise kara?
Girl: Ma'am, she told me. It was quite simple. Common sense stuff. (How I wish she had never uttered those words)
That is when the bitch-teach looked at me (oh, she din't look good): tumne koi computer course kar rakha hai kya? [no] This is your first class in two months, I'll be deducting your attendance marks. Be regular.
Saw a Fail on my mark-sheet.
Appear for it Again! Damnitt!

Fourth, I've consistently, without fail, fallen ill this year. So much, it doesn't even make sense. I never fall ill. Until the year 2009, I must have had stuff like fever only five or six times. Yes.
My theory, my body cannot take a city for more than three years. It is rejecting the city actually.

As of now, in every possible strange way I feel very much connected to the famous character of Robin Scherbatsky. [this is just a fun-fact =p]

ONLY,


So no one told you life was gonna be this way. [four claps] 
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. 
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, 

I'll be there for you!
(When the rain starts to pour) 
I'll be there for you!
(Like I've been there before) 
I'll be there for you 
('Cause you're there for me too)


I'm lucky to have all the awesome friends and family around me, some next to me in this city, some helping from a lil' far away and some watching from up there.

No matter how messed up this year was, here's to a lousy Diwali/Christmas and a crappy New Year ! xD

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